Our Tikkun

I started taking a Kabballah class this week. One of the ideas discussed was that each soul has a “tikkun,” something they need to fix within themselves, for the good of the world. Until this correction is made, the soul will keep coming back, lifetime after lifetime.

The soul will reemerge into a new body with a new life, with another opportunity to correct its flaw.  

Personally, I do a lot of work, and it seems no matter how long I’m at it, I still have lots to do in my tendency to overindulge. It seems like that’s a flaw many of the souls in today’s world have to work on correcting.

We are living in a time of great abundance compared to the rest of human history. I know that’s not true for everyone, but the fact that overeating and obesity are such common challenges in today’s world speaks to my point. Maybe all these souls had to return to learn how to self-discipline.

I’m not currently overweight, but I have a tendency to binge. Late at night, when I’m all alone, and feeling generally unsatisfied with my day, my life (not even necessarily at a conscious level), I’ll eat a bunch of junk food even though I’m not hungry. And I’ll eat until my stomach hurts sometimes.

I never really thought of it as a huge problem. I don’t throw up. I keep my weight under control. For many years, I’ve written it off as just a not-so-great habit that doesn’t really matter.

But it does matter. The more awareness I put around it, the more I realize it’s a numbing agent. It’s one of many numbing agents that I indulge in. When I feel overwhelmed. When I feel empty inside. When my life feels meaningless. I use habits like this to distract myself from my discomfort.

I'm working on reframing my perspective on habits like binge eating. Instead of thinking of it as just a thing that I'm doing this one night and maybe I'll work out extra hard tomorrow if I overdo it - I'm thinking of it as one of the challenges of what my soul has come to this world to correct for itself. In that moment when I think to myself - "should I? Shouldn't I? What difference does it really make tonight?" - I am thinking larger.

This challenge keeps presenting itself to me. Even after this life, the strength to resist temptation will be given to me again, until I use my time as a conscious, decision-making human being, to help correct the damage to this soul. Suddenly those moments of temptation seem to have a lot more gravity. And the win for making the right choice has the potential to be glorious.

We live in a world that offers a plethora of ways to numb ourselves from even the slightest discomfort like plain old boredom. Boredom should be a luxury. Not an opportunity to disconnect from the experience of living. Boredom should be an opportunity to choose a new way to be productive and proactive. Or to simply rest and exist.

It seems like this is the “tikkun” (correction) of this generation of souls. The challenge; to resist, even though we have more than we need. To put limits on ourselves. To love ourselves the way a good parent would love us. Not to allow anything and everything that we want – but in a limitless world, to create appropriate limits and appropriate boundaries for ourselves. Even though it feels so good to escape – to stay present. Stay conscious. Behave responsibly. Remain accountable for ourselves.

#self-help #self-love #Kabballah #spirituality #judaism